Granny Panties

Eat This
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

Just when you think a filmmaker couldn’t possibly outdo himself comes Palindromes. (And don’t get your granny panties in a bunch – I mean “himself” in a gender neutral sense. Okay padre? Okay.) Yes, just when you think every boundary of good taste (and bad) has been crossed. Todd Solonz, I tip my hat to you. And by you, I mean Palindromes.

Who knew that dumpster diving for aborted fetuses meant cinematic gold? To that add obesity, disabled kids, and pedophilia and you’ve got yourself the greatest contributor to childhood delinquency since that Ozzy Osborne album blamed for all those suicides. Diary of a Mad Man. Solonz really tugs at your heart strings – plays them pizzicato, really – with the disabled kids, because get this: they’re both physically and mentally handicapped. That’s worth at least two reserved parking spots, non? Wait a second. Does the heart even have strings?

Speaking of the disabled, I was walking down the sidewalk and about 50 feet ahead is an amputee rolling along in his wheelchair. The guy isn’t really cruising because he’s got one of those old school manual rigs. So he’s rolling along giving his arms a workout. And I’m walking behind him progressively growing angrier and angrier, cursing Medicare for its stinginess because electric wheelchairs ought to be covered. I manage to contain the chaos because that’s what the cranial cavity is for.

It came down to this: the guy was rolling along. Slowly. I was gaining on him. Part of me suspected he used the manual wheelchair as a guilt prop. You know, to make the legged people feel bad. I’ve heard of crazier things and I didn’t want to rub it in, so I crossed the street.