Making Misogyny Cry

Watch for the Bushes
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

If Time was a woman
She'd be a stingy bitch,
A grandmother crabby
Always awaiting two pennies change.
She'd read receipts and do the math
On pocket calculator, then check it twice.

If Time was a woman
She'd be more fickle than soup
called Sweet and Sour,
More stubborn than mathematicians
proving zero.

If Time was a woman
She'd be a feminist movement all her own,
Third Wave would look draconian
And independence would be set free.
Semantic shackles, syntax, and all things context would dissolve
while definition drowned in morning coffee.
Light and sweet and gender neutral.

If Time was a woman
She'd be a guideline gymnast.
She'd take this and turn it into that,
limber as a toy
Plastic and not afraid to break.
No bones, restrictions,
No one right way.
Just a lifetime warranty and a big gold star.

If Time was a woman
She'd knit thick sweaters from
Spools of Past and Present.
Perfect attire for Future's bat mitzvah.

If Time was a woman
She'd be in state custody.
That's what they do to multiple personality disorders
Who refuse
Medication, and
Time
don't take no pills.

If Time was a woman
She'd always be well-armed,
A walking armory,
Because you never know
And neither does she.