My Retarded Uncle

Sipping and Giving Lip
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

You wrote the word retard
And it hurt my feelings,
my feelings' feelings,
And my tear ducts' feelings
And now I have to wipe
my tears and their hurt feelings
And blow my nose
into a tissue whose feelings are hurt by proxy.

Retarded is not a word to be used
By just anyone.
You have to pass a test. Professionally proctored
Because it's about time people
Start respecting
Retardation's linguistic protocol,
Stop taking it for granted
And offending people with unsanctioned
Conjugation.
That's how feelings get hurt.

Retardation is sacred.
Sacred
Like Catholicism's trombone
An instrument sanctified,
held captive for its chromatic charm,
And blasphemed by a heathen symphony.
Number five.
Guess Beethoven should have known better.

Only after passing a test
Can you use words like retard.
Only after bringing civil rights
into talk
of conditions that medicine and the
high court commit to print
Can you add retard to your vocabulary.
And even then it's risky.
Better slap an ed or ation to the end
Just in case.
You never know whose feelings might get hurt.

Maybe babies should have to take a test before we let them speak.
They're liable to offend everyone, hurt everyone's feelings
Being new to this world and
Not yet mouth broken.
Say what you will about meaning and context
that counts for nothing
Or leaves you in the red,
A deficit of meaning because
Particulars are irrelevant
And oftentimes offensive.

Using the word retard is not a right
It's a privilege
And your misuse offends me.
It's almost as bad
When you use the word blue.
And Jew. And holocaust
And sunshine.
It really is so inappropriate.
Especially when used in art.

The dictionary offends me.
It's worse than that time
With Jesus and Lennon
And that was quite bad.
Let's burn all the dictionaries,
An exit from access
Save all those words from savage cold hearts.

I have an uncle. His name is Sasha.
He has Downs Syndrome and I love him a lot.
We watch Russian films
And listen to music
from his collection,
then we'll take a walk.
I said the word love and now I'm offended.
Offended myself with
this savage cold heart.