Delirium Wears Socks, Not Shoes

Eating Moss
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

This week has seen little in the way of sleep. And meteorologists insist the condition is here to stay. At least through next Tuesday. To bolster their case, these meteorologists have gone so far as to incorporate little snippets of moving satellite imagery propaganda into their forecasts. Supposedly, they're charting Fatigue's course hour by hour. Locals within a 5 mile radius are being advised to evaluate. Immediately. So far, I've caught a few Nervous Nellies sneaking by streetlamp and I say to hell with them.

To hell with their tragically self-involved attempts at stealth. You might as well go buy yourself a plastic nose-eyeglasses-mustache combo and a pair of white high top Reeboks. Seriously. And you better keep those Reeboks as clean as they day you bought them. Sneaking in white sneakers is one thing, but sneaking in dirty formerly white sneakers? You'd do better sneaking with a cowbell necklace.

And how do you think it would make those sweet little children in Vietnam and the Philippines feel knowing that the bright white high tops they slaved over - slaved over just for you! - had been turned into a pair of muddy scratch foot afterthoughts in less than a week? You think on that, neighborhood Nervous Nellies. Considering a walk in the woods or a stroll through a shopping cart strewn parking lot? How about first considering those sweet little children and their sweet little hands? Think about how hard they've worked just so you could have respectable footwear, mister. Maybe now you'll know who to thank the next time your doctor tells you you don't have scoliosis.

And if you remember nothing else, remember that you now go by the name George Edward Morse IV. Pronounced the fourth because people don't speak in roman numerals. So while you sneak away fearing satellite images and highfalutin weatherman talk, do keep in mind that the storm will only get worse between now and next Tuesday. As I stated earlier, this week has seen little in the way of sleep. My digital counter has not yet broken into double digits for Christ's sake. And when I say for Christ's sake, I mean for Christ's sake. Not for Mary's or for the holy spirit's or for a box of communion wafers.

There is so much to tell, but now is simply not the time. Soon. But definitely not now.