Cover Letter

Cancer in Blue
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

Spice Factor

Language and faux-language

Leaving voicemails for self, but sending them to the wrong number instead. Accidentally.

Top 3 or 5 Lists
... Vegetables
... Woody Allen Films
... Poets
... Paint

Gardening on the Turnpike

Hansel and Gretel
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

It's the first (and last) of the Jersey installments.

And in tribute to this bastion of over-populated tri-state ballyhoo, I bring you a story. It's about me, my brother, and things better left unsaid.

The basic gist is this (just follow the ellipsis)...

Imagine your parents having sex.

Next, imagine making your sibling(s) vomit by talking about your parents having sex and knowing that the topic grosses your sibling(s) out more than it grosses you out, thus making the decision a no brainer. A mature decision, really.

So I made my brother puke.

Then I turned down an invitation to go to Midnight Mass. I can't believe I didn't go. But I've just been informed that "good Catholics" go worshipping Christ-mas Day too, so tomorrow I will play the part of a good Catholic and invade a New Jersey church. Jealous yet?

I will also be awash in the cross currents of Jewish guilt. Jealous now?

Oh yeah. I would be too.

Postal Convergence

Sky
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

Okay, listen, life has been really hectic. I've been denouncing like crazy in my head but have had no time for digital translation. A few more weeks and I am back. And like an abusive parent, I am convinced this hurts me more than it hurts you. Much more.

A few more weeks and thousands of words. Afterward, I will return unless I die first. Anything's possible.

Let me just add one thing: I recently ran into a FedEx, UPS, and USPS guy in conversation. On the street. I asked the overnight guys if there was any tension. They laughed and then taught me something valuable: the beauty of delegating.

UPS guy says, pointing to his FedEx counterpart, "The harder he works, the less I gotta do."