Free Advice

Oz
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

Get ready for the best trade you'll ever make: your problems for my solutions. What's the catch? No catch, just free advice for people who need it. Why? Because the only thing I love more than helping myself is helping others, especially those who answer "yes" to one (or more) of the following questions:

Do you like people?
Do you hate people?
Are you afraid of sex?
Is sex afraid of you?

So what gives? Okay, here's the scoop. I'm starting an advice column in a local newspaper and to make the whole thing work, I need your help. Have a dilemma? Email me about it and sit back. You'll soon find comfort in knowing that I give fantastic (or fantastically bad, but funny) advice.

If you have a problem (i.e. relationship trouble, porn addiction, whatevs), send me an email. My *free* advice is practically guaranteed to make you richer and sexier.