Gardening on the Turnpike

Hansel and Gretel
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

It's the first (and last) of the Jersey installments.

And in tribute to this bastion of over-populated tri-state ballyhoo, I bring you a story. It's about me, my brother, and things better left unsaid.

The basic gist is this (just follow the ellipsis)...

Imagine your parents having sex.

Next, imagine making your sibling(s) vomit by talking about your parents having sex and knowing that the topic grosses your sibling(s) out more than it grosses you out, thus making the decision a no brainer. A mature decision, really.

So I made my brother puke.

Then I turned down an invitation to go to Midnight Mass. I can't believe I didn't go. But I've just been informed that "good Catholics" go worshipping Christ-mas Day too, so tomorrow I will play the part of a good Catholic and invade a New Jersey church. Jealous yet?

I will also be awash in the cross currents of Jewish guilt. Jealous now?

Oh yeah. I would be too.