Things and Crazy People

Montreal
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

I'm not saying any of this actually happened, just that it might have. In theory. So let's suppose I went to Space recently. And let's say it was to see one of my favorite contemporary fiction writers, Gary Shteyngart. (He is the fucking man.)

And like any reading, this one was maybe followed by a Q&A. But here's the cool part about the Q&A: It ended. And then a non-Jew accused a Jew of being an anti-Semite.

This possibly fictitious incident highlights one key point: Portland is full of old people who spew leftist rhetoric but don't know history and don't listen to what comes out of their own mouths. Oh, and Gary Shteyngart rules.

Neighborhood Girl Mystery

Pow
Originally uploaded by kafkas_undies.

The girl around the corner loves her bunny ears. Every time I see her, she's wearing them. It's been this way for a year, maybe longer, and the ears keep getting dirtier.

They're the kind of bunny ears you buy at a novelty shop, the kind stapled to a white headband and sold in plastic packaging around Halloween time. Or maybe Easter. A strip of polyester pink sits in the middle.

The girl has had the same pair for over a year. She goes tanning often. You can tell. If she can afford tanning, can't she shell it out for a new pair of ears? Like what if she needs them to listen?

I want to ask her, but I'm afraid it's a tragic story. The girl is only twelve, tops. She likes sitting on the steps of her building - a bunch of apartments in what used to be a one-family back in the day before halogen light bulbs and Bonwit Teller. I wonder who she lives with.

I almost asked today, but thought better of it and then I almost called a radio show to ask their advice. But then I asked myself: what do a bunch of strangers know about dirty bunny ears?